Woo! Someone asked me a question!! I’ve seen the FormSpring Me things on several blogs and figured it would be a pretty cool way for people to anonymously ask whatever they wanted. It would also be a fabulous way to ensure that I have blog posts for days when I’m blanking about what to write. (Like today) If you ever want to ask me a question, please do! I’ll be more than happy to answer it, and I’ll blog the question as well as my answer to it :)
How are you feeling about submission at this point?
Good question. I love it. It’s not easy at times, but it’s so very much who I am. I’ve been mentally comparing past relationships with the one I’m currently in and I keep coming to the same conclusions. There were a few dominate traits to the men I’ve dated in the past, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say they were dominate. When I got frustrated in past relationships the root of it was almost always that the man I was with wasn’t being “manly” enough in my mind. They weren’t leading me, let me get away with being bratty at times, never really called me out on it and it bugged me to pieces. I couldn’t stand it. I saw them as weak and found ways to end the relationship. I longed to find a guy who would challenge me; push my limits; call me out when I stepped over a line; and who had no problem reminding me that his word was final. Which is what attracted me to my Master in the first place.
I’ve mentioned before that we were friends for a while before we started dating. I watched as he would dominate just about everything and everyone around him, and not in an overly obvious kind of way either. People just naturally would go to him for advise, they naturally took his word as law. I’d never met someone who seemed to (almost) always be in control or at least be able to assess a situation and come up with a plan (and a backup plan) so quickly! But I digress…
Being submissive is a bit like waking up to who I really am. It just suits me. With Master, I know my place, I know that he respects my opinions and I’m always allowed to ask for clarification, but I also know that whatever he says is final. I love that. I love knowing that while what I have to say is heard out, it isn’t law. I love knowing that someone is willing to put the time, energy and effort into molding me to who they see me as. I enjoy being held accountable for it too.
One of the coolest things to being fully submissive is that I can relate to my sister so much more. (She’s a natural submissive and in the past I balked at her choice to ask her husband for everything – and I mean everything – but now I not only get it, I support it!) She isn’t into BDSM and would freak out if she found out anything about my masochist side, but she’s a natural slave. And the great thing is her husband is a natural Dom.
I’m sure I gave a much longer response to that question than you were probably expecting, but I think things through best when writing, lol.
Thanks for asking, and please, feel free to ask more questions!