Asking why a BDSM couple celebrates Valentine’s day is a bit like asking an Atheist why they celebrate Christmas. You just look at the other person like “Did you really just ask me such a stupid question?” and try to come up with a polite answer.
Master and I have been asked this a few times by our vanilla friends who know of our relationship. I think the question they really want to know is not why we celebrate Valentine’s Day, but how we choose to celebrate it. (Or rather, how Master tells me how to celebrate it).
Well that’s a totally different question now isn’t it? Some people (most people) see Valentine’s day as a super sappy, overly romantic, overly commercialized holiday. I can’t think of a single mostly international holiday that isn’t overly commercialized now. Even Saint Patrick’s Day is full of greens and Irish sayings and beer.
Anyway, how you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day should be a reflection on how your relationship goes. Valentine’s day is not a day to be someone completely different (that’s what Halloween is for ;) but a day to magnify the good aspects of your relationship and set aside time to enjoy the things you love most about the other person.
Master does this by sending me to get a two hour massage and enjoy a little time at the spa. You all might be surprised to hear that Master has made a habit of buying me fresh cut flowers for the table since we said “I do”. It’s his way of letting me know that he loves me and desires to keep all aspects of our love alive. So while I am expecting flowers, it’s only because of a habit he put into motion long before today arrived.
I keep the house spotless and cook Master’s meals every day, so I’m not doing that just because it’s Valentine’s Day, I’m doing it because I am his slave and this is part of my job. However I did spend some of the money Master has given me (in the form of an allowance) on gifts Master should enjoy. I got him several books he’s had his eye on for a while, a new robe that I think he will really enjoy and am cooking his favorite meal and dessert.
We will probably end the evening with a session or we may just sit on the couch and watch a movie together. It really depends on how busy our day was and how worn out we wind up being by the end of the night. After all, Valentine’s day happened to fall on a Monday this year, so we have to keep decent bedtimes in mind.
As I said earlier, Valentine’s Day should be a day that magnifies the good in your relationship, not a day to dress up and pretend to be someone else. Master and I believe that Valentine’s Day focuses on reminding the other person that they are loved, however you choose to do that. It is a bright and shiny day in the midst of bleak winters and otherwise cold nights.
So if you celebrate by getting tied up and beaten, or by being pampered at the spa, enjoy it, embrace it and be thankful you have someone to share it with.