****************************UPDATE******************************
UPON READING THE ENTIRE SERIES, MY OPINION OF E.L. JAMES AND HER BOOKS HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY. I DO NOT RECOMMEND READING THIS SERIES IF YOU ARE NEW TO BDSM. THIS IS A BAD PORTRAYAL OF THOSE OF US IN THE LIFESTYLE. TO LEARN MORE READ MY FOLLOW UP BLOG HERE
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I’m not exactly sure why I’m taking all the negative reviews about these books so personally. Maybe it’s because I can relate in so many ways to Ana in the story. Maybe it’s because I fear that when my books get published, I will be seen as “just another trashy romance novelist” or “following in the footsteps of E.L. James”. Who can say for sure? What I do know is that I need to STOP focusing on HER reviews and keep writing anyway.
But before I do that, I’d like to toss in my two cents here. I love the books. I love the writing, I love the silly emails between the characters, I love the story and I love that James brings light to the BDSM world (though really, that is some seriously soft core BDSM). There are of course things I would have done and written differently if they were my books, but that’s because I’m a different person from E.L. James. (I am so tired of people complaining about how she should have done this or that differently – of course they would, they aren’t HER.)
BDSM is NOT a new concept (contrary to popular belief). People have been dominating and submitting for as long as we’ve been on this planet. Even the bible tells women to submit to their husbands. BDSM in its most basic form, dates back as far as humanity does, though it’s been called many different things.
The idea of tying someone up, holding them down, pulling their hair, slapping their ass or what have you is NOT new. What IS new is the publicity BDSM itself is getting. 100 years ago we, as a population, were just ask kinky, but we didn’t talk about it in public, we didn’t compare notes with our friends and we pretended lust didn’t exist at all.
I keep thinking that people need some serious lessons in literature. The word “amateur” for example actually means “one who engages in a pursuit, study, science, or sport as a pastime rather than as a profession”. Yes, Jame’s words are amateurish – but only in the sense that she wrote them for fun, not for money. The word “novel” means ”new and not resembling something formerly known or used”. That’s why we love NOVELS and not just short stories. They’re new!
And before I conclude I must address the idiots out there claiming that women can’t want both to be submissive and the rights allotted to them as citizens of the United States of America. Submission is a GIFT. It is not a requirement (any more, thank science). It is something I choose to give to my Master. Submission is completely different from being a total pushover. My strong willed, heady personality does not submit lightly and I certainly don’t submit to everyone with a dick. I am one of the most pushy, bullheaded, determined, headstrong women you will ever meet. I am loud in my opinions and fast to speak up for others. I am NO mouse. That is what makes my willingness to get on my knees for Master so special. It is something I just don’t do for everyone.
I am very proud to be an American woman living in this age, I take my rights seriously. Do not dare assume that because I submit to my husband, that I will submit to the government’s idea of what a woman should be, what medicines she should be allowed or what I am supposed to do with my body. For that matter, don’t assume that I will submit at all!
Fifty Shades of Grey is, in my opinion a great read. It is a work of fiction (obviously) and therefore it’s going to be a bit ridiculous at times. (For example, Mr. Grey making $100,000 an hour is hilariously out of reach for more than 99% of the world). It is not supposed to be a reflection on all things BDSM. It is a novel: new, exciting, and formerly unknown. The love story is unpredictable and whimsical. It is not your average “girl meets boy, they fall in love, fall apart, and then get married” book. (Well not technically anyway). I think that’s what most people like about it. This is a love story that expands across several novels and is not quickly, smoothly wrapped up in 800 pages or less.
If you don’t like the book, then fine, don’t like the book. But don’t you dare base your assumptions on all things relating to women, BDSM or books dedicated to a female audience off a single author’s perspectives. Do us all a favor and read at least a dozen more books before forming an opinion you’re willing to share with the rest of the world.
Fifty Shades of Annoyed,
–Autumn
Tagged: BDSM, Dominance, E L James, Fifty Shades of Grey, Frustrations, Novels, Republicans, Submission
Yes! I am a submissive, not a doormat. I have strength, I have wisdom and I am a leader who chooses to be dominated by my Master.
Words that H and I agreed on before we started. Well said on your role in your own relationship.
I find the 50 Shades of Grey talk very interesting. In both my blog world and the vanilla world. I suppose someday, I will have to read it. I thank you for adding your two cents.
Haha, exactly!! Some of the best submissives are the ones you wouldn’t suspect of being submissive. ;)
You know what, going on mainstream parenting websites and needlessly attacking people for inocuous comments like “I’d rather have real sex with my husband then read a well, written book. ;)” just makes you look like complete asshole. Seriously, get a fucking grip. You sound like you have something wrong with you.
I’m sorry you can’t look past the box you’ve put sex in to see the beauty in BDSM. I have lots of things wrong with me, none of them have anything to do with my comments on a different website. I am, however, flattered that you felt the need to follow me here :) Feel free to take a look around and dig into the realm of BDSM a bit. You might actually like what you read ;)
I feel like I am the least submissive submissive around. I submit to him.
I am reading 50 Shades and enjoying it with reservations. Going back to the book now.
-sin
Hard to put down isn’t it? Lol. I like Ana, but I seriously hate her dislike of BDSM. But then, that’s what makes her vanilla and not me ;)
Love your ideas about amateurism! It makes such sense! I suppose in a way someone who writes (or indeed partakes in any pastime) for fun is more likely to produce something true to themselves, honest and indeed more original compared to someone with people to please and money to make!
A really interesting post.
Thanks,
xx GnG xx
Ah after a long day or week of being the strong and incharge one, being submissive with my love is fabulous. Yet it no one’s business but my own. I agree with your assesment of the book. It feeds a part of me that is otherwise silent or too often dormant.
Terrific post! I am a huge fan of these books and of the author!
Great post! I’ve been hearing so much controversy about the book that I haven’t been sure what to think, but I think I will check the book out.
Let me know what you think when you do! I love hearing other opinions, helps me know how to proceed with my own novel (which I’m still writing lol)
Will do! Are you writing something similar? I’m working on a ya novel, but lately have been thinking a lot about romance instead.
I am not exactly sure where this book is going to take me. I know it’s a romance novel but I’m not sure if it’s going to be bdsm or what yet lol. I thought it was always silly whenever authors would talk about how “the book wrote itself” or “I didn’t expect it to turn out that way” but here I am learning just how true statements like that are, haha. I plan on putting an excerpt in a blog post at some point, but not until I have more than 100 pages written. :)
Also, make sure you check out my latest review of the books!! I loved the first book, but hated the second and third books in this series. Just wanted to pre-warn you. However there is something to be said about reading books that are all the rage too, even if you hate them, at least you can join in the conversation with others who have read them!
Thanks! I will read the reviews. I totally agree about reading what is hot. I like to try and figure out why it has become so popular.
Interesting commentary on the Shades of Grey explosion. As a BDSM writer, I’m happy that this has happened. I’m very pleased to see you hit back against the nastiest critics, so to speak. It annoys me to no end when holier-than-thou types try to say that the book is trash, or something it isn’t.
As with many explosive new books, the market is the ultimate jury. Here, James’ sales are screaming success.
I was excited to see this as a BDSM writer too, and then I read the next two books in the series….
Turns out E L James has some pretty crappy views on BDSM – but at least she brought it to the limelight! Maybe by the time I finish and publish my novel, BDSM won’t be such a huge shock to people :P haha
Reblogged this on Social Literary.